There was a time when you felt so tired. You wanted to go out, but the bed hugged you tight. The pain in your head went worse while your mind just couldn't stop thinking. Then you laid down with a hand covered your eyes up.
You closed your eyes, hoped that darkness would calm you down. The shadow of every moments were showing, the things that you have been forgotten would come again.
You remembered everything. About the papers that you haven't submitted, the courses that you took, the upcoming test, the farewel with girls, the delayed meetings, and... that forbidden memories.
The places, the moments, the smells of wet soil, cloudy sky, and the rain that fell just left a kind of emptiness, in the hole of your heart. There were some kind of uncomfortable feelings. You knew it, but you kept busy with your business until the pain ruined all over your body.
You realized, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't. You couldn't force yourself to be happy. You couldn't erase that uncomfortable feelings easily. You couldn't lie to yourself that you weren't okay. You couldn't pretend that everything was fine, but deep inside, it was so messed up since the first of this month.
Then you thought that you must turned your phone on, and shared your problem with someone, or took a day off to spend the time inside your home. Because you knew, that you would be better while you decided to take one of them, or both of them.
But now, all that you could do is take a deep breathe, calmed yourself down, and wish that everything would be fine. You wished the time would fly faster, took you out to the end of this month while you woke up in the next morning.
You closed your eyes, hoped that darkness would calm you down. The shadow of every moments were showing, the things that you have been forgotten would come again.
You remembered everything. About the papers that you haven't submitted, the courses that you took, the upcoming test, the farewel with girls, the delayed meetings, and... that forbidden memories.
The places, the moments, the smells of wet soil, cloudy sky, and the rain that fell just left a kind of emptiness, in the hole of your heart. There were some kind of uncomfortable feelings. You knew it, but you kept busy with your business until the pain ruined all over your body.
You realized, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't. You couldn't force yourself to be happy. You couldn't erase that uncomfortable feelings easily. You couldn't lie to yourself that you weren't okay. You couldn't pretend that everything was fine, but deep inside, it was so messed up since the first of this month.
Then you thought that you must turned your phone on, and shared your problem with someone, or took a day off to spend the time inside your home. Because you knew, that you would be better while you decided to take one of them, or both of them.
But now, all that you could do is take a deep breathe, calmed yourself down, and wish that everything would be fine. You wished the time would fly faster, took you out to the end of this month while you woke up in the next morning.
posted from Bloggeroid
1 comments:
Is being grown up that bad? Yeah maybe everyone has their own tiring times.. just like everyone, i have it too..
But.. were you in your tiring time when you wrote this one?
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